Amazing AMAZING

8 March 2016


Can't help but think about that woman judge on Britain's Got Talent haha What's her name? Is it Amanda?

It's been a super duper long time and I don't know why I had the urge to check out my blog. It's been an *eon* and my, I need to do a bit of dusting around here.


Guess once you start a diary of sorts.... there's no going back. You can take a hiatus, over one's lifetime? What's a few years, eh?

Eh, has it been that long?

20 April 2014


Just. Wow.

I stopped blogging because I didn't have anything to say. Stuck in a rut. Same ol', same ol thing.

One month became 2, then 3, then a year. It's now been a year and 4 months. And the strange thing is that recently, at the back of my mind, I wondered if I should continue blogging. Now for the readership, which was well in the single digits lol. But more to pin down thoughts, actions, words and deeds for the future me to read.

I sometimes go back and re-read what I wrote (probably about once a year) and good golly, doesn't even seem to be me lol I mean, it SOUNDS like something I would say. But wow, I think I've changed. Don't know if it's for the better though....


Heh, let me think about it.

Where do I find myself now?

19 Jan 2013


Whew... where did 2012 go?

And here we are, more than stuck in to 2013 and I have a feeling this year will whizz past just as quickly.

2012 was interesting in various ways... I settled into my new job and my initial opinion that my team is run by a bunch of cowboys has solidified. What they term as "flexible" and "quick" thinking, I view as rudely planned, coarsely implemented and poorly executed. The company is solid and will never go under, I suspect. 

But the people... People are people everywhere. If they can't see it, it doesn't exist. Like a horse with blinkers. I think I should speak to Elisson because he worked in a blue chip tech company too, although from a MUCH higher perspective lol So, work is not demanding but management sucks. I am thinking that perhaps I should move. 

My motivation isn't money, although I need a base amount to get by. Also wondering if I should push off my slacker's skin and rejoin corporate again for two reasons : monetary stability (my parents are getting old and I worry a little about their financial safety net :o) and mental stimulation. Some days, work is slack enough that I can surf around and watch a movie online. *rolls eyes* Good deal, but it can only last for so long. 

I've also realised that I am interested in people, as opposed to places and things. Which is odd because I think most people are idiots. 2012 was the year of people, in a way, too. :) 


I went to Bangkok with my old friends in June. First time there. Had avoided the place like a plague as Singaporeans go there in droves for the cheap shopping (2 things I'll go out of my way to avoid) but we went off the beaten track and I had a rather interesting time. 

In July, instead of taking off for my birthday alone as is my wont, my favourite aunty asked to join me. And we had a blast!

The funky aunty is loaded, so she stayed in the private pool villa which I managed to snag in 2011 at a steep discount. I stayed at my usual room, one step down. Am not complaining, that had a cool view too :) 

So.... when I expected solitude, I had plenty of good company. 


And lastly... lastly, I gathered enough courage to do a private photoshoot to celebrate my turning 40 in 2012.

So all in all, I am pretty happy with the way things went last year. I am still feeling restless and aimless going into 2013, but I am also curiously hopeful and cheerful that things will be better. 

Oh my, I didn't mention the men. First, the asshole. Then I met a marketing specialist who verbally said he was interested, but basically put me on a shelf for a long long time. Ok. Fine. Then I met an engineer who turned out to have more hysterics and drama than I could stomach. Which is very VERY little. He got the old heave ho. Lastly, met a business man who disappeared after two dates 0_o 

Still, each man brought me an experience that reminded me of the pitfalls and perils of dating. I am, quite frankly, surprised I even met 4 initially potential datees. Viewed as experiences regained, I count myself lucky for having had them; it's pretty hard to meet people the older one gets. So 2012 was interesting.... I feel I've gotten a new perspective on old things/matters and I might even be a little more mellow. My god. I'm going to either downright crotchety or a complete marshmallow by the time I am 50 lol 

And thus I enter 2013, a little hopeful. Which, all in all, can't be bad. What's that I  always say?


OH yes, that's right : ever onwards and upwards! Wahey! :))

Inner diva

25 Nov 2012


Shoes... oh god. Shoes.

Bane of a woman's life. 

Provider of thrills and shivers of excitement.

And in my case, one very amused salesgirl.

See... it all started out by me trying to adapt a pair of high heeled black sandals I had for my photoshoot. I bought black velvet ribbon about 2 weeks back and sat on them things. Then yesterday, I dug out them heels and today, I brought them to work and my and a buddy tried out various things. Had something very specific in my but didn't want to blow money on shoes I won't wear after the shoot. But... dammit... I wasn't really happy with any of the results.

Later in the evening, I picked up my red agate set which I'd sent for cleaning. I actually left the mall, then did a double take. Second floor was devoted to women so I thought I'd try my luck. And yup... in a corner shop, catering to the early 20s very fasionable set, I found a pair of heels.

I now own a pair of hoochie mama heels lol Ok, ok.... possibly not HOOCHIE hoochie mama heels. But I'll tell you what.... I'll never, ever wear this pair of heels after the shoot. But I bought it anyways because it matches the red/black feather boa I had bought. Almost perfectly matched by, perhaps, a half percent in terms of shade.

I've noticed this about myself... I'm a regular plain jane, preferring people to judge me by my actions, but when the time is right, I tend to swing the other way out. Way out. 
*amused*

And the grinning salesgirl? Because the first step I took made me wobble very dangerously lol. She brought it down one size and then I could take baby steps. Baby. Steps. I think I've forgotten how to swing my hips when wearing heels. About to loose my woman card soon, dammit. Fortunately, I'll do something about once a year that reminds me of how to BE a woman haha.

So. The photography shoot is shaping up to be VERY interesting.

No turning back now.

24 Nov 2012


I am 3 days to my photo shoot.

I think I am nervous, dammit.

Don't have a problem being nekked. But I have paid $800 to have someone take nekked shots of me, to immortalise on film every single goddamned bulge of fat, every speckled scar, every spot of pasty, flabby, wobbly flesh. Rather like an ugly duckling made to take centrestage, about to be denuded of every feather. 

Ok, the photographer takes good, classy tasteful shots. But that's certainly what I feel like right now.
*wry grin*
HHhhmmmm. I hope it's just nerves, and not some latent depressive inferiority complex raising it's spectral head.

On the flip side, it feels like an adventure. Weird, yes? But for this woman, who never pushes herself forward, who tends to set family and friends before herself, who wears plain clothes without logos and nary a spot of makeup, to be made up and put in the centre of attention, it's an interesting experience.

It's already interesting lol. I went out and got feather boas. I wanted the pictures to be lush, rich, and slightly decadent; and, for a number of reasons, decided on feathers.

What's even more interesting is that none of the colours picked are colours I would *ever* wear in real life. Granted, the shop didn't have the shades I wanted but still... That fire engine red? Never wear red. Ever. That maroon? I only have that in nailpolish colours. And that bloody bright turquoise? Wouldn't be caught dead in that shade. lol.

I guess what's happening is that I'm stepping outside my comfort zone. Stepping out in a big way. Doing something I wouldn't ordinarily do. Which was the whole idea of celebrating 40 turns around the sun. *small sigh* So I am nervous, but yet excited. And after coasting through life in a semi-limbo for the few years, perhaps this is a good thing.



Guess we'll see how much talent my photographer has, considering his subject matter lol.

It's decided

2 Nov 2012


With the year coming to a close, I've decided.

I've *finally* decided to go ahead and have a series of nude/lingerie shots taken of me. It took me a few months to broach the waters but I'm taking the plunge with Kelvin Lim. 

After a few emails to touch base, I finally visited him at his studio/residence today. Met his wife Elaine, and we chatted for almost an hour. Just getting a feel for each other. I am very VERY pleased to note that his emails reflect the genuine warmth of the person. And the conversation and laughter flowed easily. 

He's about 25% more expensive than a regular studio, but I seem to trust him well enough. He has a genuine warmth and energy that makes me feel at ease with him.

There are the extras, of course, like hair and makeup, and the options to change outfits. Some cheaper places charge more for these things and I might as well take my money to someone who has positive reviews and, more importantly, repeat clients. 

Of course! I did my homework ;p So all in all, most pleased and I walked out of there with an incredibly positive feel for this adventure. Good. After all, this man will be taking nekked pictures of me o.o   


woo! I am going to my 40th year in style!

Welp... all done in now. Heh.

30 Oct 2012


Been offline awhile.

Yeah, a few months.

Haven't felt like much... just coasting, doing my little hamster route home-work-home-sleep and basically, just zoning out. Thinking about a number of things too. I'll get my head around things soon enough, I guess. 2012 is 2 months short of an entire year that just ZIPPED by. Where the hell did all that time go?

Anyhoo. Good news! MBA are all officially 40 year olds now haha. I was the first one to succumb, having received my Eldershield letter in May (govt likes to send things out early) and turning 40 in July. Liz was next in Aug, and finally Mag in Oct.

We went out to dinner a couple of days ago, meant to just be a social thing to catch up. But I got the ladies small bouquets. I mean.... 40! No turning back now, man. We've hit middle age and we can't live in denial now lol Ergo, if we can't deny it, we should celebrate it!

Swiped from Liz's FB, we don't bother a lot with pics now, although the other 2 are into photography as a hobby in a BIG way. And they're really good at it too! (Pics : Liz on top, Mag at left, me at right)

Damn.... 40. You don't think about it and suddenly there you are!

Tasty!

26 July 2012




Share something interesting with you guys....

Boiled jackfruit seeds!

Jackfruit's really tropical, and an acquired taste. Not only that, the seeds can be boiled and eaten. Yum yum yum! The cooked seed tastes a little buttery, crumbly, and the meat of the seed looks like a brazil nut. Just wanted to post it as it's quite rare, apparently, to be eaten. I didn't know, only when my dad mentioned that it's the Malays and Peranakans who ate them did I realise.


Not a lot of seeds though, I brought home only about 7 pieces of the fruit. 1 got eaten (I couldn't wait lol) and 1 was dropped into the sink and was therefore thrown away. But the remaining... ah, the remaining seeds. I'm just waiting for them to become chilled!




NOM nom nom!

A new man! haha :)

15 July 2012




By golly, I'm really enjoying Peter F Hamilton. 


I first read him when I got my hands on Fallen Dragon, which was (thankfully) a standalone.  I hate getting books only to find out it's part of a series. Fallen Dragon was intriguing and interesting and I've read it a few times already. 


Then I got my paws on The Evolutionary Void, which was equally interesting. That was, however, a bit of a bummer for me because I got the copy on a whim, only to realise it was book 3 of a trilogy (Dreaming Void and Temporal Void). Argh! So I managed to get the first 2, and they've *all* been cool reads so far.  Yes, again, I've read the series a few times too.


And then I found Pandora's Star - which was good. And I'm halfway through the continuation, Judas Unchained, and it is GREAT. To top it off, by some amazing fluke, all 5 books are part of a series so the characters are all familiar to me. I'm a bloody happy camper right about now :)) 


PFH has been consistent and worthy and I think I'm in love lol. Much to my delight, he has about 10 other books in publication currently and I shall slowly collect them ALL.


I've also been to the author's page and guess what? He has kitties! Aw.... any man who loves his kitties is all right by me!




MY NEW IDOL :D




PS yes yes, all scifi, thanks very much. And awesome!


PPSS couldn't resist... HAD to take a picture of the Hamilton babies sitting on my shelf lol Take a bow, my newest babies, and enjoy the company of my other babies!

I think this one's not for me.

26 June 2012




I am a little peeved at this one person.


Met him in March, t'was a rocky start when I found out I had to do the "chasing" but he confessed he wasn't good with EQ and "all that fuzzy stuff". So I have it a shot, gave him a chance, and took the lead. By golly, I persevered.


But 4 months down the line, nothing's changed. 
*rolls eyes*
I gave up SMSing him (I don't do the SMSes, he said), so OK, I told him call me anytime you wish after 4pm. Nope, no calls. So ok, he's busy. VERY busy. But he's online! So there's hope, yes? No. He's online, but not there. I can send a gazillion messages and get no reply. Oh, and his way of greeting me online is you there? I see him, if lucky, once or twice a month.

So I decided to test things... it's what women do, right? We test. So I didn't do a single goddamned thing. He'd be online, I'd log on, and I'd wait for him to - at least - notice me. And oh joy! He doesn't even see me online. 


He's in the same country constantly and yet! And yet! I get more interaction with other people who are traveling 3 weeks out of 4. So what's up with that?



I don't want his money, although it is a challenge to go out with him because I pay for every single thing on my own and he certainly does live the good life. Heh, his rent is small change to him, and it's significantly more than my gross monthly salary *wry grin*


He has cats! But my love for the kittehs and men who love cats are tremendously overshadowed by the fact that he can't be bothered to to give me the time of day.


And the best part? I think he is insecure about our "relationship" lol. Like when I returned from Bangkok. He sent me a message asking about my trip, and I said I would like to go back and do things at my own pace. And he suddenly asked if I was going to BKK to look for a Dom. Sorry? Where the hell did that come from? He knew I was with 2 other women so what gives??

He's 55 this Aug, he's been married before, he networks heavily and counts C-level people as drinking buddies, he hosts parties. Oh, and he hasn't taken the lead, in anything, with me : he hasn't touched me to indicate interest, he definitely hasn't tried to kiss me, or flirt with me, or convey in any way, shape or form that he wants or desires me. And yet, he expects to pick up from where he left off. Which, come to think of it, is actually nowhere lol


Uh. 


Ok. 


I need MUCH more communication than you're willing to give, to keep me interested. Your status, career prestige and whatever else you have going on is just surface distraction. I am only interested in the man and IF that man is interested in me as well. And if you can't show me, then it's just empty words. *shrugs*

I'm just going to go on being passive lol. I refuse to do anymore chasing. And I'm going to be a bit more pointed in my communication with him. Let's see if he gets the hint lol




In the meanwhile.... next better man please :D

Woo, one down... one more to go!

18 June 2012




Can't believe it... I loaded everything from my Bangkok trip.


Haha. Normally it takes me up to a week! But I don't really have the time right now... I'm back at work on Wed, will work for a week and a half, then I am off to Koh Samui for my traditional bday week of solitude.


I'll need it!! The women I traveled with believe in packing their schedules. As in, out by 7am, home by 10pm, repeat for 3 days. :o 


Anyways, pics are loaded on FB; it's a public album so for my friends who aren't on FB, please feel free to view'em! For now, though, here's a sampling :)




Local prayer corner.
 




Original floating market.
   




Food, glorious food!
 




I tried to eat a bug. And failed lol
 




The ladies in Bangkok
 




I had a pretty interesting experience.... I may want to go again! s'just a 2 hour flight; a hop, skip and jump away! 




Wwweeeeeee  :D

Wheeeee!

17 June 2012




Well now, that was an interesting experience.....


Just back from a whirlwind trip to Bangkok with my 2 best friends. Damn, those women pack everything in their schedules and I was pretty much left panting. I can't remember when the last time was, that I was on holiday, had left the hotel by 7am, and came back at 10pm. Everyday. 0_o


It was just 4 days, but I am still on leave for another 2. I fully intend to take my time, unpack, AND GET SOME SLEEP.




But first, some Age of Empire lol

Sleep much?

13 June 2012




Apparently not, is the answer.


Slept late yesterday -  I am now officially on leave and wanted to stay up late and play AoE until I fell over my laptop. So I set my alarm. Shoulsn't sleep more than 10 hours, right?


Wrong. I got up one hour before my alarm went off to pee. Went back to bed. Ended up sleeping 14 hours. Now I am stiff as a board o.o


Oh well. I just hope I can sleep later on! I am off to Bangkok with the girls tomorrow and need to be at the airport by 5am. woo! We're all turning 40 this year and this is how we're celebrating!




HOLIDAY!

The order of things

8 June 2012 

This was perfect!! I concur!

  

And yes, I have thought about it before, sadly enough....

I kowtow!

7 June 2012




Good grief people, I bow to the master of cussing lol


I could learn a thing or two from this man!

Singapore visit!

7 June 2012




I had relatives visit in May :)


Actually, Uncle Errol makes it a point to come back every couple of years.. but then again, they only moved to Calgary Canada about 22 years back. So he still has roots, in a way.


But my cousin.... ahha! Jenna was 8 when they moved, and like she said, to all intents and purposes, she was a tourist! The primary reason, however, for her trip was to see Nanny. Nan is 91 now, and we all know her time is near :( I'm just glad Jenna had a chance to come back


Album, as always, is up on FB and you're welcome to peruse the pictures. But for now, a smattering....




Jenna admiring this HUGE grouper

After all that walking, a beer was in order!

At Nan's house, some of the food :)

My Nan, in her chair. She'll be 92 this year, I believe. Go Nanny!

The sons : L-R my dad. Uncle Errol, Uncle Gordon

Singapore river outing... this is Clarke Quay, all prettied up

This is Boat Quay, earlier in the evening. And yes, that is the view from the river's edge :)

I love how all the old converted godowns are now housing all these food and booze places... and yes, that is the CBD area right next door :D

Good times!