This sucks

Well, we've had just under 48 hours.
It's been a wonderful, wonderful time.
But, at the same time, terribly terribly bittersweet time.

I found out that because the MasterChief was in a sensitive area, nothing was to be found online. Or, as he put it, they firewalled the shit outta us, baby. That he had to queue 3 hours in Bahrain just to send me that 5-liner email of 2 weeks ago. That he's on his way back to the US for a medical, re-training for some work related matters, and that he may not even get to see his sister who's in Atlanta. Apparently, they're shipping him straight to San Diego.

Because we're apart so much, when I first see him I just explode. In joy. In happiness. All I can think of is him. And when we snuggle up, life seems so surreal. To be able to touch him, to smell him, taste, feel and hold him. Not reality, and all too fleeting. We don't talk about when he has to go. We just float in that perfect balance because we have each other.

Today, as I saw him off in the taxi, I felt really numb. We don't know when we'll see each other again. He might end up in the Suez Canal area next time. Or they might send him back to the Middle East.

I was so numb that after his taxi pulled out, I asked for the newspapers. Then calmly sat down and looked for the cinema listings. I needed a distraction. He was leaving. And the sensations of his last, fierce kiss lingered on my face. He was leaving. The whispered I love you seared into my brain. He was leaving. I went home in the end. And almost burst in to tears in the taxi.


Man. This sucks Big Time. I miss him already.