Gibbering idiot

That's what I was almost reduced to.

You see, late last year I had a particularly eye-popping shit. I put it down to a combination of irregular meals and sleeping patterns and - for those few days - a vast decrease in my normal vege intake. Plus I was taking oats at the time and eveything just got compacted. It was just the one time but it was searing memory. No pun intended.

But the same thing happened on Sun. :o
I was worried enough to take off from work and go get this checked out. A change in bowel movement is the first sign in a long list of potentially life threatening diseases. So off to the docter's I went.

Oh. My. God.

At first, the docter just listened, nothing seemed untoward; then he got me to lie down on the examination table and called for a female aide as a chaperone. This was expected because I have a lousy tummy and they just palpate the flesh to check for "tone" and pressure.

Holy shit, then he asked me to flip over.

??????

!!!!!!!!!!

WTF?!?!?!

Turn over I did. Then they asked me to curl up. Doh! So into the fetal curl I went, knees up to my chest. I guess I knew what was coming but it was still a little shocking. The docter probed my bum. MY BUM!!

*wry grin*
I tried to relax. Truly, I did. But I just couldn't help it. Muscles clenched and I believe he had to probe a little firmly to check the inner walls to make sure I didn't have the beginnings of piles.

I don't. Thank God.
But the experience was a little..... unnerving. I recall all the jokes I've heard about men doing their prostate exams. But nothing beats a complete stranger probing your ass. However do you men do it?


Still, a little discomfort is a small price to pay for a clean bill of health, eh?