And the truth comes out

6 Feb 2012

Wow - how things change in a matter of weeks.

Long story short, the man I started dating couldn't give me a straight answer until tonight. And he is unable to commit to anything apart from us being play partners.

The truth is he captured my mind because he was a wonderful communicator. In the last 3 weeks, however, that communication has dwindled to naught until I thought I was sending messages into a black hole. We still made time to play, and that was wonderful. But apart from that? Outside the bedroom? Nothing. 

To clarify- he'll SMS me in the morning. Then whatever responses I send after that are duly ignored. What. The. Fuck. If you don't want anything serious, why are you SMSing me every day we're not meeting? Kind of misleading, don't you think?

I understand his situation re work; his schedule is even worse than mine and I quipped to my sister once that I'd never gone out with anyone like this before. However, if he cannot even contemplate us having SOME sort of a relationship outside of the kinky sex, then I am not interested.

I think we'll still play. I *want* to play. I have grown accustomed to his touch and I'd like to re-engage my subbie side fully. At least now I KNOW where I stand. And I'll be holding myself very carefully indeed. I will not give an inch emotionally. I sub to him, and I could be pretty vulnerable. I will guard myself well.

Lest you think this is hard, it's not. Morality is not an issue between consenting adults. And I am an imminently practical woman. Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't.

However, if he remains consistently emotionally distant, I'm going to let him go. I need a lover to be a friend also. If it degenerates into a bloody booty-call situation, he can go find someone else.

I enjoy having a lover but I'm not THAT desperate.

UPDATE 8 Feb: 

I saw the chap and had decided to give as good as I got. However, he brought it up again and in summary, I was given a fairly lucid and calm explanation. I am not, however, an idiot. I'm adopting a wait and see attitude right about now. Words are easy to sprout, actions will show me the truth.

Meanwhile...  next better man! lol