Consequences

Just did a long, long post about deep, scary, lonely thoughts.
Filled with words like bitter, bereft, lonely, disappinted, heartsick, frightened, remorse, worst-case scenario and more, it was not exactly the most cheerful of posts.

Good thing for you, eh, that I re-read the damned thing 3 times, closed my eyes to assimilate it all, and then chose to post this, yes?

Life goes on and we all have consequences to live with. You can choose to live and look forward to what life has to offer; or you can choose to live bowed down with regret and bitterness.

I am having a hard time keeping the faith with the MasterChief. I have just sent him a final email. Now I will wait. To keep a long story short, a certain chain of events has led me to believe that either (i) he has been thoughtless in the extreme (ii) he wasn't as serious about things as I was. I will not find out which one it is until, probably, half a year from now or later.

The CONSEQUENCES of this? Ramifications on what sort of behaviour I should conduct myself by? I don't think I have the strength left to keep the faith, to be honest. I grow more and more tired & weary of this by the day.

Fuck, this is becoming more and more like the post I deleted.
*wry grin*

CONSEQUENCES!!
You make your choices and you live with the results.
You could chose to live life and look forward to what life has to offer.
Or you could chose to live with regret & bitterness and let the past hold you back.


I am hoping I'll have the strength to do the former.