Personal ads

Hahaha. Holy shit!
If I read personal ads like these, I'd run for the hills myself!

"Woman, 32, needful of the finer things in life seeks stinking rich bloke, 80-100. Must be willing to fibrillate his ventricles when he becomes tiresome or bankrupt or both. Also interesting thirtysomethings for illicit, immoral affair to be conducted concurrently with the above."

"Medication free after all these years! Join me (anxious, overweight, self-harming flautist, F, 34) for congratulatory drink (or seven) in side ward of nation's finest." (sent from inside a psychiatric ward)

"Bald, short, fat and ugly male, 53 seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite. "

"Obnoxious, drunkard uncle for hire (62). Belches the national anthem in three octaves, scratches inappropriately and is seemingly never satisfied by your very best efforts. Is dinner ready yet - and if not, why not? December will be magic again at Box no. 5610"

And, according to the article, the very first submission for a book that rounds up all these true ads :

67-year-old disaffiliated flaneur picking my toothless way through the urban sprawl, self-destructive, sliding toward pathos, jacked up on Viagra and on the lookout for a contortionist who plays the trumpet

Apparently, not all were meant to be for fun. People actually complained that no one responded to their ad. Which makes me wonder how these people really view life. :o


These are British cases, in case you were wondering :))