Just.... wow....

Dudes, I've just had a WTF moment....

See, we're running a corporate hotline, yes? But I was told that, on occasion, we get calls from home users for java. Ok, well, fine. Oracle owns Java. I can see where the confusion lies.

This guy just calls in. He is having trouble understanding that there is NO phone support for home users re java. He doesn't understand "corporate customers, corporate accounts, company users, no home users." He can't seem to navigate the java website either.

He can't understand my accent either, which says a lot because I am incredibly clear over the phone. 

I identify the accent as being american, and belonging to an older man. So I   s l o w    d o w n   and   s p e a k   w i t h   a   p a u s e   i n b e t w e e n   e v e r y   w o r d  .  Which seems to work.

I try to be helpful and provide the live chat URL. Which in itself turns out to be another exercise in futility. I find myself repeating the word "LIVEPERSON" 5 times, for example. And with URL strings, there always a / yes? Well, this URL string had a - in it too. Which made things worse. After going through the URL a bagazillion times, the guy asks "the slash is the two dots, right?" 

Erm. 

No. 

And then "wait a minute, what is the difference between hyphen and slash?"  

Holy mudderfadder.... Dude, did you even go to school?