Lady

So I nip out at around 4am to get supper.... if I'm awake, the tummy gets hungry every, oh, 5-6 hours. I greet the night-time jaga who's always on duty at the shoddy, decrepit Beach Road Hotel situated at the corner of the building. Lest one misunderstands, I always greet the cleaners and security guards because they're doing a thankless job for minimum wage.

But this guy..... as a Eurasian, I'd have expected better! Manners, boyo, manners! As I walk away, I hear a series of shouts. "oi! oi! oi! OI! OI! OI!". I finally hear "call centre!", which is the nickname I've earned from this jaga. Only then do I turn around.

He says "I've been calling you!"
Says me "I don't respond to OI"
He says "You superstar, meh?"
I turn fully around, give him my best you're fucked look, and reply "No lady responds to bloody OI."

On my return walk, he says he's sorry but keeps saying I'm a snob. A snob? Because I don't respond to OI?

Hey listen - you want my attention? Then you ask me for my name. You don't know my name? Then you bloody well run after me. I don't walk very fast. You're a tall guy, you have long legs. It would take you the work of less than half a minute to catch me up. I know this, because that's what I do when I want to catch other people's attention. I run after them myself. Snob indeed.


Buddy, you've been hanging around 2-bit street whore trash for too long.