Not so epic

Went to catch Kingdom of Heaven with The Sister. She's been wanting to see it for a while and I finally caught the shots on TV this afternoon (don't normally watch a lot of TV).

Now, I'm usually pretty wary of shots; they always pick the best movies. And nowadays, sometimes all you need to do is watch the damned trailers. Voila! You've SEEN the movie in under a minute. But I thought Ridley Scott was different.

hurhur. What a tosser.
KoH really failed to deliver, in the sense that it was flat. Flat. The title characters seemed without weight, the plot's really loose & thin and character development has no, well, development. Orlando Bloom, bless his pretty-boy, looks tries really hard, but he never really had enough gravitas to carry a "heavy" character. So he doesn't help any, either.

In point of fact, the saving grace was Jereny Irons. Sexy as ever. Oh, and Ghassan Massoud, who plays the Muslim head-honcho. Both men.... scarred, weary, tired. And yet so knowing, strong, honourable and so damned sexy. Be still my beatin' heart.

I actually left after 2 hours to go pee, have a smoke, and buy a fresh drink. Came back in time for the final 30+ minutes. First time ever. I didn't even do that with Mission Impossible II and THAT was a really shitty movie.


See it if you have to, but don't say you've not been warned.