Another 3 months and assorted idle ramblings.

I last heard from the MasterChief around late April.
Last saw him in Jan.
Used to kid around with Bernie that it'd be another 3 months before I'd hear from him again.

I guess it's coming true.

I've always hated long distance relationships. The distances that separate the two of you, the stress of keeping in touch, the worry and concern when you don't know if they're looking after themselves. I promised myself never again. Too much trouble, too much effort, too much worry and too little joy. Life should be more than this.

Race forward to about 6 years later and I find myself in the same situation. When I promised I'd never do this to myself again.

Things are different though. I find myself calmer. I have faith. I am stronger. This one is even worse though.... long periods of silence. Guess that's what comes of dating a military man. I believe the phrase the MasterChief used was "sensitive areas". No outside communication. Heh.

Actually, that's not accurate. The MasterChief is retired US Navy. Now he's a civilian. But he's still in..... well..... of all places, Iraq. I don't know how the hell that happened. Me, Singaporean, as remotely distant from the Middle East as we are from, say, Eastern Europe. And it's worrisome. That last email briefly mentioned a gun boat descending on his ship and Holy Shit!! my heart jumped when I read that line. All civilians. No weapons on board. I'm not used to this.

Isn't it interesting how life deals you cards you never expect? If you asked me 5 years ago where I'd be, I'd tell you I'd be really moving up the corporate ladder, dating really prominent people but still single. (ask me how high I've dated. lol) But here I am, out of corporate for 2 years, in love and holding fast to a man I haven't seen in half a year. For crying out loud, the MasterChief has family that have ranches and go hunting and ride horses and camp and piss beer into open fires. The whole outdoor thing.

Me, I scream at caterpillars. You get the idea.

But the funny thing is..... deep down, we're more similar than anyone would imagine. We have the same values, the same viewpoints, we cherish the same things. Yet, we compliment each other too. He gives me a sense of fun, he's old and wiser, he's the dynamic one. I'm the quiet one, I calm him down and I'm the "detail person" between the 2. Honestly? I can't remember ever being this happy whilst being so alone.

And Baby, if you're reading this, you were right.
To love someone is to have made a choice and I'm glad I chose to love you.

I can't believe this is going on to a blog post. I blame a crappy shift, the tiredness, the huge mellowness that's simply oozing through me now and general insanity. What a changed person from the fire and spit personality I was 2 years back.


Enjoy the mellowness whilst it lasts. The old Fiona will return shortly.