Cursed

I am cursed. Cursed, I tell you.
Cursed with a splendiferous telephone voice.
Most of my friends have commented on this over the years and Bernie's asked me to go do voice recordings. But I am a lazy bitch. And this is a digression.

3 days ago, I dealt with a chinese man who tried to pick me up over the phone. It was utterly disgusting because he (i) couldn't really speak english well and (ii) he had this manner of clicking his tongue as he spoke and there was something lecherous and greasy about his tone.

It got to the point when he said TSK! Aiyah, Fiornah. I hopes to hears an answer from you soon, ah? TSK! Udderwise, how does I hear your beautiful voice again?

You'll survive, sir, came my dry reply. There was a moment of stunned silence on his side. You may be a customer, but if you overstep the line, you're no longer on a pedestal and you'll feel the back of my hand.

Then this morning came a smooth operator..... a Malay man who quipped How do I contact you, Fiona? Apart from work? This one got my name right, so I was quite polite. Why, through the same work number, sir. After all, you are a customer and I am a servicing rep. That shut him up as well. Politely.


I have no sense of humour whatsoever when things are out of context.