Reducation

I was supposed to be on a mission.
I was supposed to go read up about how to make yourself taste better.
More to the point, I was planning to find out how to make semen taste better. Heh.

Oh, I had read up on this a long time ago but I was asked some very specific questions and once the call volume at work had slowed down, I was off and away on the information superhighway.

Off tangent, but I really like the way AskJeeves takes your questions and gives you what you want. I have never known them to point me awry. Go Jeeves! They simply call it Ask.com now, but Jeeves will always have a place in my heart. lol

Right, back on topic.
First off was a pretty funny, tongue-in-cheek article called Generation XXX: The Taste Below the Waist. I would strongly recommend that you pop by and have a read. :)

Here are some samplings....

Skip, however, developed a more sophisticated phraseology that elicited more descriptions of same-sex tastes:

1) Have you ever tasted semen (either your own or someone else's on purpose or by accident)? If so, what did it taste like?
2) Have you ever tasted vaginal secretions (either your own or someone else's on purpose or by accident?) If so, what did it taste like?
3) What is a good slang term for "vaginal secretions?"

And here are some of my favourite answers :)

Females describe semen:
"smells like Ajax, I no longer buy Ajax because of it. Instead I buy Mr. Clean, it's perfumed."
"It tasted like a thick, globby beer."
"Kind of like salty soft snot."

Males describe semen:
"Salty glue, especially if dehydrated. Not-so-salty otherwise, actually more watery. Like paper-mache...flour, glue and old newspapers."
"Like you'd think dish washing detergent would taste, but doesn't. Kind of soapy."
"It has a surprising non-taste. It looks like snot but is not as salty. I was reminded of the time I woke up with a bloody nose and the blood had drained down my throat."

(At this point, I gathered a few colleagues to share the laughter)

Females describe vaginal secretions:
"Soy sauce, the light Kikkoman."
"Like semen, the taste ranges. Sometimes the taste is very clean -- in fact almost tasteless -- but it can also taste kind of like a penny late in the cycle or when I've been smoking or drinking too much."
"Around the clitoris, it tastes like sweet tarts. In the vaginal canal, it tastes kind of like an artichoke tuna salad."

Males describe vaginal secretions:
"Have you ever put your tongue on the end of a battery? Like an alkaline battery."
"Similar to licking a non-bleeding wound. Sort of a salty, musty, yet sweet taste. It varies." (OMG, who the hell licks a non bleeding wound? :o)
"Honestly I don't remember the taste. The smell was all I could think about."

And the slang?

This was not a major part of the study, but we did get some interesting responses. Some of the suggestions: "Unga-unga," "Honey of the Goddess," "cooze," "the broth," "potpourri." (Note: Our delicate sensibilities did not allow us to include all of the answers.) One respondent felt that because vaginal secretions are almost always present during sexual contact (with semen appearing later), we take them for granted and don't name them.

The winning response: "Go-go juice" (the opposite of cum)

Hilarious! I never thought about it that way, obviously. lol. But the article had some fairly congruent bits with other

more serious articles I found. The bottom line? For BOTH sexes?

- Drink tons and tons of water.
- Eat less of the foods that will make you taste bad i.e. any complex protein like red meat and bean-based foods.
- Take more simple carbo-based thingies like fruits, which apparently sweeten your taste.

I can't comment on the smoking thingie since I smoke as well. A number of the men I dated smoked too, but I can't verify this because they were mostly great beef eaters and that, I personally suspect, is a huge cause in tasting.... not good. lol And it also looks like there is some truth after all to the oft mentioned advice drink lots of pineapple juice!

*dusts hands*
Job well done. Re-education complete. Now if I only had a man!

Tell you something though, I've tasted myself before. And I can assure you not everyone tastes like a bloody battery. Where the hell did that come out from? Problem is, my water intake is huge and not everyone is like that, which is unfortunate.

The other thingie that gets me is that fishy smell people complain about..... it's actually part of a woman's natural odour I discovered. I will probably surf for it another time on the cause of it but I remember during one particularly interesting fisting session, when *ahem* liquids were freely flowing. And I whiffed myself. Faint, but percepible. Which was a little uncomfortable for me because I am PARTICULARLY fastidious about genital hygiene and am normally whiff free. But my partner's reaction was MMmmmm. Smell that. Fantastic. Which was so damned weird for me :o


Ah, human sexuality. Probably my favourite-est subject!