Are you ready?

Death. To many, a truly morbid thought.

But not to me.

I'm ready to go.

If I die tomorrow, I will have no regrets. I've done most of what I've wanted to as a woman, as a career worker, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend. You can scale whatever mountains you want, but have you got what you want, right where you *are*? Are you happy? Are you content?

I suppose, as an unmarried woman, I don't really have much to worry about... I don't have kids to worry about, and my parents are really enjoying their retirement. Also, I don't have much in terms of assets. No huge bank accounts or property. But what I do have is settled. All divvied up, donchyerknow?

But still, death is something that I think of on occasion.

Actually, I don't think about when I die, per se. Or what I will die from. I'm kinda hoping to go in my sleep but don't we all? I might live to 60, then be racked with debilitating illness for 20 years.... you really don't know. What I mean is.... somehow.... I am unafraid.

Oh, it would be nice to settle down with someone who'll install a harness in our bedrrom, yes. lol. But all it really is, is icing.

I am prepared if I should be called tomorrow. Or today. Or now, for that matter.

By the way, the only reason I say "most" as a woman, is because all that's left is my kinky fantasies. lol. Not quite reason enough to fend off death and be bitter, eh? But that's another story. A WHOLE 'nother story :)

Anyways. All this rambling is triggered by two things :

My AMD acknowledgement came today. I'll be giving a copy each to my parents. If I go before them, they'll know what to do. And they're pretty supportive. My Mom actually said it was the smart thing to do. No matter how much I may bitch about my parents, I think I am more my Mom's daughter.... we both share that huge practical streak of independance on a lot of things.

Secondly, I came across a really cool website today. It's called Life before death. And it's absolutely brillant!

It's a philanthropic effort that attempts to dispel the fears and taboos about discussing & preparing for death. You get stories of those that are going, those wonderful souls that are caregivers, and everything in between. Their bottom line... you shouldn't be afraid. You are loved now, and you will continue to be loved when you are gone. what a wonderful message!

I totally agree. You shouldn't be afraid to die. You know all life is measured and the sooner you come to terms to it, the freer you feel.

Don't know about the afterlife, though... I was raised Roman Catholic. It would be nice to think of a heaven that's waiting. Or... for me... heh.... purgatory! But, just like I believe all gods lead to one divine being, all heavens / nirvanas / what-have-you will also be the same place too. I need to think about this a little... I'll get back to you when (or if) I come to a conclusion. But back to the topic at hand.


Are you ready?



UPDATE :
In the papers last week, there was a supplementary section that focuses totally on this topic. Again, Lien Foundation, those people behind the website above. It was incredibly moving. They featured people who had lost loved ones, caregivers who gave(give) their all, and those that have accepted their impending deaths with grace, joyousness and an iron will to embrace life.

Something touched me. I cried. There I was, reading the papers, having a ciggie, sobbing quietly into my tshirt. Who would have thought?

I cried because there was such a FIERCE joy and thirst in their lives. They knew their time was coming. They reached out to gather as much as they could in what little time they had. To hold for themselves, and to create for those they were leaving behind.

I want to be like them when my time comes.